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by synthpopp



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Blind Date, First Dates, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-24 01:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12001992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synthpopp/pseuds/synthpopp
Summary: Yuuri is desperate and through a friend of a friend is set up on a blind date with a stranger that he’s promised that he’ll love. The only problem? Yuuri and Viktor had a thing before. Only Viktor doesn’t know, because it was years ago before Yuuri came out as a transgender man and began transitioning. Does Yuuri tell him? What will he think? How long can he let it go? Why didn’t it work out in the first place?





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**Author's Note:**

> This was a part of yoisafebang on tumblr and the art at the beginning was done by tygrysek-homoseksualizm on tumblr! This was a lot of fun and I'm thankful for all the people who made it possible :)

<

Yuuri’s love life was as dead as it could possibly be. He hadn’t been on a date in well over a year and hadn’t had a steady significant other in, well...in quite some time. It wasn’t so much that he was desperate, he just really wanted somebody to hold hands with, and to send good morning texts to, someone to go on cute sappy dates with, to introduce to his parents...somebody he could really see himself with in the future, waking up together, making breakfast in their boxers, falling even more in love with each passing day, eventually having a beautiful wedding, maybe (hopefully) adopting kids…

Okay, maybe he was desperate. He’d own up to that much. There was nothing wrong with that! It’s normal to feel a deep ache in your chest every time you see a cute guy and then spend the rest of the day thinking about him and what he’d look like with his eyes half closed, just having been kissed. Everybody goes through phases like that!

Yuuri might be in luck this time, though. One of Phichit’s friends knew a guy that was single and looking and from what he heard, this guy was good-looking and willing to try going on a date with Yuuri. Yuuri had never been on a blind date before and knew the night could end catastrophically but at this point he was willing to try almost anything. He was too awkward to land dates himself as of late, so maybe this would be the next best thing.

Yuuri was counting down the days until his date, obsessing over the little details. They had decided through Phichit that a restaurant about a twenty minute drive from Yuuri’s apartment would be a good spot, classy but not overly fancy. Yuuri was never good at dressing himself, however: would a tie be too much? Maybe if he wore a pair of pants that dressed it down a bit, but he wasn’t sure which pair would accomplish that. Jeans were too casual, khakis just weren’t his thing, his black dress pants surely would be too much. 

He had never been on a date to a restaurant. What was the etiquette? Was he supposed to make sure he ordered something that wouldn’t be messy to eat? What if he ate too much, would that be a turn-off? When was he supposed to offer to pay? What if he waited too long and ordered something more expensive and then the other man insisted on paying for it? He’d just about die of guilt. No, he’d have to offer early on, but how early was too early? Was he supposed to do it as soon as they sat down, or after they looked through the menu a bit? What if he had to use the bathroom at some point, would that be considered rude to leave his date alone? 

What if it went bad? What if he thought Yuuri was ugly or boring? What if the other guy was ugly or boring? What if he was only interested in sex? And then, of course, the issue of Yuuri being transgender would have to be brought up eventually. Yuuri had dated before coming out as trans, but after he had only had a couple of awkward “we almost became a thing”s. He never had to tell a guy he was interested in dating he was trans before and it terrified him. He didn’t want to ask how he felt about it before the date because he didn’t want to make it a thing, he wanted the other man to see him as he was: just a normal guy. However, Yuuri couldn’t deny he’d be crushed if they hit it off and the other man lost all interest after learning that Yuuri wasn’t cisgender. He didn’t let himself think about that too much. Just focus on the tie debacle he told himself, focus on things you can change. 

In retrospect, it’s amazing what you can forget to do when you feel overwhelmed. In this case, Yuuri didn’t even ask for the other man’s name before the date. He only realized this standing outside of the restaurant, phone in hand, desperately texting Phichit for any information he could. What was he supposed to do, go up to every person that walked up to the building if they were there for a blind date? He was already nervous enough without needing to embarrass himself like that.

After a few minutes Phichit texted back, informing Yuuri “his names viktor, last name starts with an n i think? idk. he’s got silver hair can’t miss him. good luck u got this <3”.

And Yuuri felt his blood run cold.

It couldn’t be. No, it absolutely couldn’t be. There were plenty of Viktor’s whose last names started with N’s that had silver hair, right? That could be so many people. Viktor Nikiforov wasn’t the only Viktor with a last name that started with N with silver hair, there were probably plenty of them, that Viktor probably didn’t even live in the area anymore. It had been years since they saw each other. Yuuri had been, what, nineteen at the time? There’s no way it was the same Viktor.

As Yuuri stood anxiously, sure enough, the face of the same silver-haired Viktor that Yuuri had spent weeks dreaming about his freshman year of college came walking around the corner not a minute later. Yuuri thought he was dying. No, maybe he was already dead. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he was sure that he had a thick sheen of sweat all over his body. 

The last time Yuuri had seen Viktor was in the back of his car when he was supposed to be in his physics class, the two of them having sex in the way that two college students who don’t want anything more than a quick hook-up do. Yuuri had never had sex before and thought it was about time to get it over with, he was nineteen and all of his friends had long ago lost their virginity and it made him feel like a massive loser, like somebody who wasn’t worthy of being looked upon sexually. Viktor was nice enough. He was attractive, so that was a bonus. It was awkward. There was so much unsaid in the air that it hurt. Viktor looked like he regretted it all more than anything in his life. He left and never said another word to Yuuri. Yuuri assumed he messed up, that he hadn’t been good enough, that he made it all too obvious that he wasn’t used to this kind of stuff.

It was fun while it lasted, though. Sneaking glances at Viktor in class, the subtle flirting, the first kiss. It was exhilarating in a way that Yuuri had never experienced. 

The biggest issue? Yuuri was so far in the closet at that point, it seemed more like a full-sized house. Viktor had known him under his previous name before he had come out as a man, before he had cut his hair short, before he threw out his dresses, before he started hrt, and before he had gotten top surgery. 

Viktor didn’t even recognize him now, as Yuuri introduced himself he knew that much was clear. There was no hint of recognition in his eyes, no idea that the man who stood in front of him had been a quick fix in his college years. 

Usually Yuuri loved being unrecognizable. When he passed old classmates, coworkers, and the like, he could just keep walking without feeling the need to have an awkward conversation about how they’ve been doing. It made him feel like a cool undercover spy without any of the anxiety that would come with it.

This time, however, Yuuri desperately wished Viktor knew it was him. He didn’t want this to go unsaid but he didn’t want to be the one who had to say it. He didn’t want to have to out himself this early on in the date. 

He wanted another shot with Viktor. He wanted another shot with the boy he had dreams about for years after their encounter. 

After the awkward silence as the two were lead to their table, a small one for two nestled in the back corner, Viktor was the one to break the silence.

“Yuuri! So glad to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot of great things!”

Yuuri prayed to every god he could think of that he didn’t look like he was actually dying. “Um, you too! Heard great things, I mean.”

He couldn’t stop thinking about how for months afterwards he would try to catch glimpses of Viktor in-class and watch the plays Viktor was in. He had been a theatre major, but where he really excelled was dance. He could work a monologue and sing well, but there was nothing like watching the passion in his body as he moved across the stage. Yuuri had always fallen for people easily, and Viktor had completely and utterly enthralled him since day one.

He thought he was the luckiest person on the face of the planet to get to sleep with him. Yuuri didn’t resent Viktor. He didn’t think there was malicious intent behind the situation, none at all. It seemed more likely that Viktor had been younger, was horny, and wasn’t looking for a real relationship. There had been no real communication between either of them, so he probably had no idea that Yuuri wanted anything more than what he had gotten in the first place.

“So, tell me about yourself. You work at your parent’s inn, right?”

Yuuri nodded. “For now I help with the odds and ends, helping my mom cook when it’s busy, helping to clean the rooms, whatever needs done. I’m hoping once my parents retire I’ll be able to take it over.”

“Ah, that would be fun! Do you like it now?”

Yuuri shrugged. “It could be a lot worse, and it pays enough for me to get by. What about you? What do you do?”

Viktor looked slightly embarrassed at the question, his face faltering for just a second. “I’m actually unemployed at the moment. No big deal, however, I’m sure something’s just around the corner! I was working as a tutor but things didn’t, ah, quite work out.”

Yuuri was shocked. The great Viktor Nikiforov didn’t end up having a career in theatre? That seemed like such a waste! He wanted to know what happened, what went wrong, did he realize his passions lie elsewhere or could he just not make a living off of it? He bit his tongue. If he was playing the part of Yuuri, the cis guy who had never met Viktor before in his life, he had to commit.

“I’m sure it’ll all be okay in the end,” He said. “You’re Russian, right? Did you always live in America or did you move here?”

Viktor seemed to appreciate the change in topic. “I moved here when I was ten with my parents. We still go back every year to see relatives.”

“That’s nice! My family moved here from Japan when I was younger, too.”

The two of them continued to make small talk, discussing everything from the languages they knew to how hot the weather had been. It was going well, as far as first dates go, especially blind ones. There was a bit of awkwardness in the air but the conversation came easily enough.

It was exciting. Yuuri could almost convince himself that this was truly the start of a completely new romance. As nerve-wracking as those were, there was just something so wonderful about them. 

The time passed and Yuuri was absolutely shocked with how well it was going. Yuuri was beginning to believe that he was in the clear. Viktor even seemed to like him! It was like he was nineteen again and having the best dream of his life. Awkward, painfully average Yuuri was on a successful date with Viktor. 

It all came crashing down after Viktor told a story about his college days, something about a prank his roommate pulled on him, when he asked the question that ruined everything.

“What college did you go to? I went to Colgate University in New York, overall I had a really great experience. Wouldn’t go back and do it again, but it all was worth it.”

Yuuri swallowed. How deep was he willing to get with his lie? Before it was just omitting the truth, now it was going against it. Oh god, he was starting to sweat again, Viktor was definitely going to know something was wrong, it was all ruined. He had messed up and now he went and ruined his second shot. 

“Yuuri, are you alright?” Viktor said with a soft voice after Yuuri had gone silent.

He did his best to smile. “Yeah, I’m alright. What a coincidence, though! I went there too.”

His face lit up. “Oh! I wonder if I ever saw you there, though I think I would’ve remembered that! What major were you?”

“Uh, I was a um, a psychology major.” Yuuri was grabbing onto the sides of his chair so hard his knuckles surely had to be white. This was how he was going to die, sitting in this chair on a first date.

Viktor laughed under his breath at that. “That’s funny. I had thing with a psychology major for a little. I was young and stupid, totally messed it up. That’s one of the things I’d go back and change, if I could.”

Yuuri couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie. 

“ViktorIhavesomethingIneedtotellyou-” He said, rushing all his words together. “I have something I need to tell you because I feel like I’ve been lying to you this whole time and I really like you and I don’t want this to be how we start our relationship, whatever that may become, starts. I’m transgender. I came out when I was twenty and began to medically transition about a year and a half later. Unless you had sex with multiple people from that major, it was probably me. There, I said it! We’ve had sex before. I don’t know what you want to do with that information but you need to know and I’m sorry I kept it from you I just didn’t know what to do and-”

“Yuuri, slow down. I can barely hear half of what you’re saying. You...you’re telling me that you were the person I slept with once and never talked to again in college?”

Yuuri nodded and raised his eyebrows and took a sharp breath.

“Oh, boy, certainly didn’t think I’d ever talk to you about this again. I want you to know that I’m not upset with you, please don’t think I am. I’m upset with myself. I didn’t apologize for my actions when I should have, so let me do the second best thing. I’m sorry about what I did then. I didn’t know what I wanted and I had never done anything like that before, and quite frankly, I freaked myself out. I should have contacted you again, I know that wasn’t what you wanted and I don’t think it really was what I wanted either, I don’t think I knew what I wanted, but that doesn’t matter. And as for you being transgender, there’s absolutely no problem with that, you’re still the same Yuuri as you were ten minutes ago and I’m enjoying my time with you all the same.”

Wait...what? Yuuri was sure he misheard that. No, that wasn’t right, Viktor was supposed to hate him and want to leave the date now. Yuuri was supposed to go home and sulk for the next week and ignore all of Phichit’s texts about the date. Viktor was...sorry? He was being supportive? Yuuri hadn’t done anything wrong?

“I, um...to be honest, I wasn’t expecting that response. Thank you, though, really.” His stomach was doing flips and his cheeks were red, but he finally felt his anxiety start to die down.

“I’ll do my best to make it all up to you now, I’ll try to do everything I didn’t do before.”

Yuuri was sure his face was as red as it could get as he smiled widely and took a moment to compose himself. He always knew just what to say, didn’t he? After seeing his reaction he winked, causing the both of them to laugh. Even though Yuuri had just felt so nervous he thought he was gonna die, he was glad everything was out in the open now. Viktor liked him for who he was and this time around it was going to be the stuff he dreamed about. 

The two of them finished the rest of their date, keeping the topic of conversation light. Things felt more natural now, though. The awkwardness had completely gone away. Instead they felt as if it wasn’t their first date, as if they had kept in contact and stayed friends all these years. They just fit. Everything just fit.

They stalled getting up and heading out for as long as possible, taking their time to work through their main meal, spending half an hour finishing their dessert, and sitting with their check for even longer. Sure, they could easily see each other soon, but the romance was new and exciting and neither of them wanted to go back home alone.

When they finally did leave, Viktor turned to him.

“Yuuri, I had a great time. When do you think I can see you again?”

“Are you free in a few days? I don’t have anything planned and I would really like to spend more time with you soon.” Yuuri couldn’t stop smiling, it was like his lips had permanently been fixed to a new position. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so happy. He couldn't remember the last time he had any sort of romance feel like this at the start, or ever. 

He nodded. “That sounds good to me. Again, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong footing. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this time is a million times better.”

“I know. You didn’t mean anything bad the first time.”

“No, don’t say that. Did I mean to maliciously hurt you? No, not exactly. Was I real stupid? Yes, I was. Don’t excuse it.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” He said, laughing under his breath. “I’ll see you in a few days then, Viktor.”

Viktor nodded. “Let me give you my number real quick and I’ll be off.”

So the two exchanged numbers, had a lengthy goodbye, and started to head back to their homes. 

Yuuri was so excited for what the future would bring. Viktor didn’t just respect him, he actually liked him, which was a completely radical concept. Things couldn’t of gone better, in his eyes.

Yuuri got home and spilled all the details to Phichit, and he absolutely freaked when Yuuri explained what had happened in college. It was all okay, though, Phichit was completely right with this set-up.

Yuuri headed off to bed then, checking his phone one last time before crawling under the covered, opening up the text he had gotten as he had been talking.

“Thank you for the lovely time, Yuuri. I can’t wait to see you again <3”

Yuuri was certain he’d have another dream starring Viktor, but this time he’d wake up just as happy as he had been in his sleep.


End file.
